I feel like that one line is the soundtrack to my whole summer. I have been really rather busy, but in a good way! I have been working a lot (and feeling like I'm making no money) and hanging out with my friends and trying to go to the beach as much as possible and also trying to make plans. I feel like I've been bit pretty bad by the travel bug this year. I've decided I need to just make things happen for myself. I can't rely on others to join me in adventures and travels and such. If they want to, I would welcome it, but otherwise I think it's something that I just need to do.
Evey person that I've ever met that I have admired has just done what they want to do. I know I need to make decisions that are best for me and do what I need to do to make sure that I'm becoming the person I want to be, but I'm not very good at actually making those decisions. It is hard for me to feel like I am letting someone down or not living up to someone's expectations. Maybe someday I'll realize what I need to do.
It has been very interesting for me to work at the library this summer. That is a crazy place! It makes me think a lot about social class and the limited opportunities that are still given to lesser tier individuals. You think in this industrialized, modern society we would be passed all that, but I guess not. There are kids who come in to the library and you know they will never be given the opportunity to go to college or to get out of the city even really. It just makes me appreciate how wonderful my family is and my opportunities! I know that I do get upset quite often about money and school, but when I really do think about it, I need to appreciate what things I have been given.
Last weekend Adam and I went to our first music festival together! It was amazing! I think it was the best time of my life and I honestly would not have wanted to be with any other person in the world. I think it brought us closer than anything else has so far in our relationship. It was honestly amazing and the music was insane! I got so into electronic music on this trip! I can't stop listening to Pretty Lights and Big Gigantic now! Haha. It was definitely life changing and I definitely did meet some awesome people.
I guess I could say that overall, my life is pretty swell right now. I've been making some good memories and learning stuff and I think I'm going places. Hopefully I check in in the next year. My blogging skills are sadly poor.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Sting of Death
But in it's own way, death comes to us all. Whether it snatches us quietly from the night or gives us a few days left to fight, you can't evade it. Relish the journey. Relish the steps. Know that no matter what goes on in this world, life is worth living.
When I heard the news, I couldn't help but wonder why. So young a soul to go this way, so many bright years ahead. Well he fought with the devil for about seven days, but the devil got the best of him. I thought about his family and the ones he left behind. I thought of the ones pining for his existence, left alone in this dark world. To be so young and to go this way. Some things just shouldn't be done. R.I.P. Jon.
Then a few days later, more news comes. Another young man with a heart of gold and so many places to go. He laid his head to rest one night and away he did go. Twenty one years under his shiny belt, and he was just plugging along. Enjoying life splendidly, singing his own song. I met him on my first night in that strange new town and his friendly eyes smiled down at me and helped me to feel at home. Now I guess he is home, according to some, but according to me, I just don't know where all these young kids go. Maybe their hearts just float around up there, appreciating the view. Or perhaps they just look down on us and keep us all in check. Making sure none of our young souls join them on that swiftly moving track. Sometimes life can't be explained, this I've come to know. Just take it day by day and go by what you know. We all have good in us somewhere. Find the goodness in your heart to let these people go. It's not easy, but not much is in life. Be strong and remember that life goes on. We never have to leave or forget the ones we love, we do need to accept that their gone gone beyond our reach. It might be easy to want to join them in the house beyond the hill, but we still have work to do here. They had their time playing this game and it ended far too quickly. Keep playing your game for them. Live a life that will give them a reason to look down here on all of us once and awhile and smile and remember that, "life is short, but sweet for sure." Soak it in. Live it up. Who knows how long we have here?
Remind the people that you still have around you that you care about them and appreciate them, because all life is connected. We are brothers and sisters on this earth.
I may feel confused at the deaths of these young men, but who the fuck isn't? To lose great people at such a young age is a tragedy, but what can we do but move forward? "Decide what to be and go be it." Make your dreams as real as anything. Give them something to watch and look at, wherever they are, but whatever you do, don't give up on life. No matter how many tragedies occur and no matter how much grief comes your way, have the ability to see that there are still good things going on here. The flowers still open up to the sun adn the birds still chirp along and that in itself is enough of a reason to make me smile. R.I.P. Jon and R.I.P. Nomo. You will always be remembered in our hearts and minds. Good luck out there, wherever your journey takes you.
When I heard the news, I couldn't help but wonder why. So young a soul to go this way, so many bright years ahead. Well he fought with the devil for about seven days, but the devil got the best of him. I thought about his family and the ones he left behind. I thought of the ones pining for his existence, left alone in this dark world. To be so young and to go this way. Some things just shouldn't be done. R.I.P. Jon.
Then a few days later, more news comes. Another young man with a heart of gold and so many places to go. He laid his head to rest one night and away he did go. Twenty one years under his shiny belt, and he was just plugging along. Enjoying life splendidly, singing his own song. I met him on my first night in that strange new town and his friendly eyes smiled down at me and helped me to feel at home. Now I guess he is home, according to some, but according to me, I just don't know where all these young kids go. Maybe their hearts just float around up there, appreciating the view. Or perhaps they just look down on us and keep us all in check. Making sure none of our young souls join them on that swiftly moving track. Sometimes life can't be explained, this I've come to know. Just take it day by day and go by what you know. We all have good in us somewhere. Find the goodness in your heart to let these people go. It's not easy, but not much is in life. Be strong and remember that life goes on. We never have to leave or forget the ones we love, we do need to accept that their gone gone beyond our reach. It might be easy to want to join them in the house beyond the hill, but we still have work to do here. They had their time playing this game and it ended far too quickly. Keep playing your game for them. Live a life that will give them a reason to look down here on all of us once and awhile and smile and remember that, "life is short, but sweet for sure." Soak it in. Live it up. Who knows how long we have here?
Remind the people that you still have around you that you care about them and appreciate them, because all life is connected. We are brothers and sisters on this earth.
I may feel confused at the deaths of these young men, but who the fuck isn't? To lose great people at such a young age is a tragedy, but what can we do but move forward? "Decide what to be and go be it." Make your dreams as real as anything. Give them something to watch and look at, wherever they are, but whatever you do, don't give up on life. No matter how many tragedies occur and no matter how much grief comes your way, have the ability to see that there are still good things going on here. The flowers still open up to the sun adn the birds still chirp along and that in itself is enough of a reason to make me smile. R.I.P. Jon and R.I.P. Nomo. You will always be remembered in our hearts and minds. Good luck out there, wherever your journey takes you.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Too Long Since I Blogged...
I have a theory. It is about men and their enabling mothers. Boys are wimps today. They don't know how to fix anything, they don't know how to work hard, they don't know how to save money, and they don't know how to do a lot of things that probably 45% of the male population fifty years ago would have been perfectly capable of doing. They seem to be inept. So I started thinking about what causes this ineptness and I came to the conclusion that it comes down to enabling mothers. I proposed this idea to my mom and she said that as a parent she always thought that doing things for kids when they could do it for themselves was crippling them. How would they ever learn the necessary life skills if someone else is always doing it for them?
For awhile I've been thinking this about boys, but now I'm starting to think about girls. They are seriously I think slightly retarded. Girls know how to do even less than their male counterparts. Last semester my philosophy semester was raving about how we are a generation of dip shits who are completely useless and don't take control of anything and we don't know how to take control of everything, so what are we going to do when we are the ones in control? Eventually we won't be able to just sit around and let other people make the decisions for our lives.
I try to be generally optimistic about life and where we are all headed and I always know that there are still some good things in this world, but man, there is a lot of shit going on. People are just turning into the biggest dickwads. Nobody cares about anybody anymore.
Last night I was at Kevin's house and Cole was texting this one girl and Adam asked him who he was texting and Cole goes, "just some bitch." The first thing all the guys say is, "is she hot?", "is she a babe?". He then proceeded to have her pick him up from Kevin's house when he was drunk as shit because he wanted to "get his dick wet." Real cool. So she picks him up and he throws up all over her house! Super classy!
Last week a bunch of college kids were staying at a friend's house down in Ocean City, MD. One girl who is a junior in college had sex with a boy who is in high school. One girl peed the bed because she was so drunk one night. It's just disgusting. People need to grow up. I'm so sick of being a part of this. Of all of it.
When I was at the beach a few weeks ago with Adam, Kevin, and Corey, we were hanging out in Kevin's room and Adam was asleep next to me and I was looking at stuff on his phone. I wasn't trying to snoop, but I was looking at his favorites on his Stumbleupon. He had several pictures of girls with either enormous boobs or huge asses and all like posing with their fingers in their mouth and I honestly thought I was going to throw up right then. I felt so terrible. I know boys do things like that, but why do they have to look at girls like THAT? I'm never going to be able to compare to something like that. If you're looking for a girl with a 24" waist and a 56" bust, then keep walking. I'm not her. I'm me and that's all I'm ever going to be. Don't compare me to something. If I'm not enough for you, then keep walking. I'm not going to be put in this situation. I'm done with it.
For awhile I've been thinking this about boys, but now I'm starting to think about girls. They are seriously I think slightly retarded. Girls know how to do even less than their male counterparts. Last semester my philosophy semester was raving about how we are a generation of dip shits who are completely useless and don't take control of anything and we don't know how to take control of everything, so what are we going to do when we are the ones in control? Eventually we won't be able to just sit around and let other people make the decisions for our lives.
I try to be generally optimistic about life and where we are all headed and I always know that there are still some good things in this world, but man, there is a lot of shit going on. People are just turning into the biggest dickwads. Nobody cares about anybody anymore.
Last night I was at Kevin's house and Cole was texting this one girl and Adam asked him who he was texting and Cole goes, "just some bitch." The first thing all the guys say is, "is she hot?", "is she a babe?". He then proceeded to have her pick him up from Kevin's house when he was drunk as shit because he wanted to "get his dick wet." Real cool. So she picks him up and he throws up all over her house! Super classy!
Last week a bunch of college kids were staying at a friend's house down in Ocean City, MD. One girl who is a junior in college had sex with a boy who is in high school. One girl peed the bed because she was so drunk one night. It's just disgusting. People need to grow up. I'm so sick of being a part of this. Of all of it.
When I was at the beach a few weeks ago with Adam, Kevin, and Corey, we were hanging out in Kevin's room and Adam was asleep next to me and I was looking at stuff on his phone. I wasn't trying to snoop, but I was looking at his favorites on his Stumbleupon. He had several pictures of girls with either enormous boobs or huge asses and all like posing with their fingers in their mouth and I honestly thought I was going to throw up right then. I felt so terrible. I know boys do things like that, but why do they have to look at girls like THAT? I'm never going to be able to compare to something like that. If you're looking for a girl with a 24" waist and a 56" bust, then keep walking. I'm not her. I'm me and that's all I'm ever going to be. Don't compare me to something. If I'm not enough for you, then keep walking. I'm not going to be put in this situation. I'm done with it.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Beauty of it All
The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.
We live in a beautiful world. It's sometimes hard to see and it's easily forgotten, but seeing a video like this has to remind you. When you see beauty like this that reaches into your very soul, how can you deny that something is not in charge of all of this? No matter what evolution has taken place, nothing can explain this. When I see videos like this, I get goosebumps!
It also makes me so restless. I'm sitting in my bed in Bloomsburg, when there is this going on in the world? What am I doing? What am I missing? How do I find that boldness within myself to go out and search for beauty like this? The thing about it is though, I think I need to go "looking" for beauty, when really beauty is all around me. It's in the moments of laughter you share with friends and the single moment where you look around you and think, "life is good."
Don't get caught up in it all. You don't owe society anything. Be your own person. If you can't find beauty around you, make it! This is our life. "Decide what to be, and go be it."
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
What are we made of?
Obama just gave his State of the Union address. It focused mainly on creating jobs for the millions of U.S. citizens who are still unemployed. I just read an article written by David Gergen where he is discussing the address and also the importance of it. The article is entitled, "Can the U.S. Still compete?" Obama's approval rating has plummeted in the past few months and many politicians are waiting to see the affect that his State of the Union has on his nation.
In Gergen's article he discusses how America is losing it's power in the global market. He arranges a list of a few things that the United States could do in order to get back on track and not lose it's place as a world super power. The main focus of his new strategies would be focusing on our education. As a nation we are falling far behind the new rising super powers, such as China. Looking at it from the perspective of a student, I realize the truth in his words. Having attended the public school system for only 3 years I can't say I am an expert on it, but I can definitely attest to the fact that the standards that an "average" pupil are expected to reach is exceedingly low. A student can merely scrape by and somehow still manage to get into college. Education here is a byproduct of our daily lives, in many newly developing countries, education is life.
One of the reasons that I feel education is such an important part of life in other countries is their circumstances. For instance, in China, communism is slowly beginning to loosen, and although this way of governing is still largely in power, it has been opening its doors to ideas that had previously been frowned upon. In countries like these, education is the only way to get ahead. What I mean when I say this is that these students can't depend on the wealth of their parents or their family name to proceed in life. They have to fight for it, and education is the only way they know how. They also understand the monumental shift that has taken place in the world.
Americans have gotten lazy. Yes, in the 20th century we were the super power, but we can't rely on the hard work and patriotism of our ancestors. During WWII and the years after, our sense of nationalism could be felt "from the mountains, to the valleys," but now where is it? We live in an economically struggling country who is trying to ride on the coattails of the successes of the generations that proceeded them.
It's time to pick up our slack, and this is what Gergen discusses. If we want to be able to compete in the changing, fast paced global market, we need to be an intelligent, united country! We need to become informed citizens who take an interest in the affairs of our nations, rather than passive individuals who sit on their asses and only get involved when we have something to complain about.
At the end of Gergen's article he poses the question, "do we still have the right stuff?" In other words, he is asking if we are still made up of the strong willed, passionate Americans that thronged our country years ago.
This brings me to something that we discussed in Philosophy today, ontology, or the "theory of being." The idea is that even though substances are altered over time, the elements remain. We are made of the same atoms and fibers as our ancestors. We have the same general compostion as them, but do we have the same drive? The same passion for our country that has driven us for hundreds of years to become the nation we are today? Or have we become lazy?
I personally believe that we do still have the necessary material to compete with the rest of the world, we just need to discover it! We need to inspire our students and younger generations and show them that this is a country worth fighting for! Help them to become aware of the benefits of freedom and the enormous number of blessings they receive just from being born in this country!
I don't know how we can go about this personally, but we can look to Gergen for help. Encourage our learners. Encourage knowledge and understanding and encourage a new hope in our country. We are made of the same fire and heart as the men who founded this fabulous country and I feel that we need to rise to this occasion! Don't just accept the fact that we are losing our place in the global market, fight for it back! Fight for something you believe in! Remember what this country was founded on and fight for that! Freedom and dreams and family and the idea that every man deserves a chance. Well, young students of today, here's your chance. Take the state of our nation into your own hands and fight for something bigger than yourself and be reminded that we are all a part of something that is bigger than any of us. We are all made of the same elements and we all deserve the opportunity to make this country a better place.
In Gergen's article he discusses how America is losing it's power in the global market. He arranges a list of a few things that the United States could do in order to get back on track and not lose it's place as a world super power. The main focus of his new strategies would be focusing on our education. As a nation we are falling far behind the new rising super powers, such as China. Looking at it from the perspective of a student, I realize the truth in his words. Having attended the public school system for only 3 years I can't say I am an expert on it, but I can definitely attest to the fact that the standards that an "average" pupil are expected to reach is exceedingly low. A student can merely scrape by and somehow still manage to get into college. Education here is a byproduct of our daily lives, in many newly developing countries, education is life.
One of the reasons that I feel education is such an important part of life in other countries is their circumstances. For instance, in China, communism is slowly beginning to loosen, and although this way of governing is still largely in power, it has been opening its doors to ideas that had previously been frowned upon. In countries like these, education is the only way to get ahead. What I mean when I say this is that these students can't depend on the wealth of their parents or their family name to proceed in life. They have to fight for it, and education is the only way they know how. They also understand the monumental shift that has taken place in the world.
Americans have gotten lazy. Yes, in the 20th century we were the super power, but we can't rely on the hard work and patriotism of our ancestors. During WWII and the years after, our sense of nationalism could be felt "from the mountains, to the valleys," but now where is it? We live in an economically struggling country who is trying to ride on the coattails of the successes of the generations that proceeded them.
It's time to pick up our slack, and this is what Gergen discusses. If we want to be able to compete in the changing, fast paced global market, we need to be an intelligent, united country! We need to become informed citizens who take an interest in the affairs of our nations, rather than passive individuals who sit on their asses and only get involved when we have something to complain about.
At the end of Gergen's article he poses the question, "do we still have the right stuff?" In other words, he is asking if we are still made up of the strong willed, passionate Americans that thronged our country years ago.
This brings me to something that we discussed in Philosophy today, ontology, or the "theory of being." The idea is that even though substances are altered over time, the elements remain. We are made of the same atoms and fibers as our ancestors. We have the same general compostion as them, but do we have the same drive? The same passion for our country that has driven us for hundreds of years to become the nation we are today? Or have we become lazy?
I personally believe that we do still have the necessary material to compete with the rest of the world, we just need to discover it! We need to inspire our students and younger generations and show them that this is a country worth fighting for! Help them to become aware of the benefits of freedom and the enormous number of blessings they receive just from being born in this country!
I don't know how we can go about this personally, but we can look to Gergen for help. Encourage our learners. Encourage knowledge and understanding and encourage a new hope in our country. We are made of the same fire and heart as the men who founded this fabulous country and I feel that we need to rise to this occasion! Don't just accept the fact that we are losing our place in the global market, fight for it back! Fight for something you believe in! Remember what this country was founded on and fight for that! Freedom and dreams and family and the idea that every man deserves a chance. Well, young students of today, here's your chance. Take the state of our nation into your own hands and fight for something bigger than yourself and be reminded that we are all a part of something that is bigger than any of us. We are all made of the same elements and we all deserve the opportunity to make this country a better place.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Back to Bloom...
So we moved into our house on Saturday and it is really adorable! I love it, a lot! It is so cozy and it just fits us! I really like it!
Last night Joanna and I got smoked up by this kid, Kyle Matthew. He just came over and rolled us a blunt and chilled. Haha. It's funny how some things come about.
So I've been here since Saturday and I last saw Adam on Friday. I really don't know if I can do this semester or not. Already I feel so frustrated with everything between us and today I was thinking, I know that I love him and I always say if our love is enough, then we can make it through, but what if I just can't do it? I know I love him and everything but what if I just can't do it? I already decided that if I'm not happy I'm just gonna end it. He said that he thought that we had something special and that if we ever did break up there would be a good chance that we could get back together sometime and maybe that is what we should be doing now.
We both said that we would make more of an effort this semester, but so far I definitely don't see it. I talked to him for like a couple text messages the past couple days and I called him on Saturday night to say goodnight and talked to him for probably less than two minutes. He was supposed to call me last night when he got off work but I went to bed at like 11 and he was at Nate's smoking so he didn't call me and then was like, oh I wish I would have called you right after work so I could atleast talk to you for a little bit. Well there's a novel idea, dipshit! Grr... Idk about this this time...
Last night Joanna and I got smoked up by this kid, Kyle Matthew. He just came over and rolled us a blunt and chilled. Haha. It's funny how some things come about.
So I've been here since Saturday and I last saw Adam on Friday. I really don't know if I can do this semester or not. Already I feel so frustrated with everything between us and today I was thinking, I know that I love him and I always say if our love is enough, then we can make it through, but what if I just can't do it? I know I love him and everything but what if I just can't do it? I already decided that if I'm not happy I'm just gonna end it. He said that he thought that we had something special and that if we ever did break up there would be a good chance that we could get back together sometime and maybe that is what we should be doing now.
We both said that we would make more of an effort this semester, but so far I definitely don't see it. I talked to him for like a couple text messages the past couple days and I called him on Saturday night to say goodnight and talked to him for probably less than two minutes. He was supposed to call me last night when he got off work but I went to bed at like 11 and he was at Nate's smoking so he didn't call me and then was like, oh I wish I would have called you right after work so I could atleast talk to you for a little bit. Well there's a novel idea, dipshit! Grr... Idk about this this time...
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